A Date with A Woman

This story comes through an email, and touching story that reminds us that we must not take our loved ones for granted. When was the last time you spend time with them?


After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said I Love You but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you. The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my mother, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.

That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie. 'What's wrong, are you well?' she asked. My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.

'I thought that it would be pleasant to be with you,' I responded. 'Just the two of us.' She thought about it for a moment, and then said,'I would like that very much.'

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she too seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary.

She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's. 'I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed.' She said, as she got into the car. 'They can't wait to hear about our meeting'.

We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the first lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Large Print.

Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw mom sitting there staring at me.
A nostalgic smile was on her lips. 'It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small,' She said. 'Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor,' I responded. During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation, nothing extra-ordinary, but catching up on recent events of each others life.

We talked so much that we missed the movie. As we arrived at her house later, She said, 'I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you.' I agreed.

'How was your dinner date?' asked my wife when I got home. 'Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined,' I answered.

A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have time to do anything for her. Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt
from the same place mother and I had dined. An attached note said: 'I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; But nevertheless, I paid for two plates. One for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. "I Love You, my Son.'

At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: 'I LOVE YOU!' and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than God and your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till 'some other time.'

Act Now Before You Regret.

Will You Take Me Home?

6000 – that is the number of stray dogs that have been put to sleep each year, statistics from the ministry of national development.
250 – that is the number of unwanted dogs that SPCA received and about half of them are abandoned
$500 to $2000 – that’s the cost of buying a dog
$0 – that’s the cost of adopting one
 
President, Toastmasters, and guests, these are the staggering statistics that we see today with regards to the Local stray dog scene. Due to the sheer number of stray dogs that we faced today, increasing efforts are needed to house them and sometimes, even to put them to sleep.
 
Non-profitable organizations have sprung up over the years by kind souls to help cope with the situation. Noah’s ark is one of them. It was set up by Raymund Wee in 1995 as an animal shelter for dogs, cats and even horses, to care for those that are sick, injured and abandoned. The Action for Singapore Dogs (ASD) was established in December 2000 to improve the welfare of stray and abandoned dogs in Singapore. And there is SPCA … These are the few prominent organizations that are working quietly but diligently to help with the situation.
 
Now the government and organizations are doing their parts to cope with the stray dogs situation, what can we as individuals do to help? I say- one dog at a time!  But how? Allow me to share with you my personal experience as an example. I have 2 dogs, one which I bought from a pet shop and another adopted. I bought my first dog because of love at first sight. This I shared during my P2 project, and of cos, out of ignorance for current issue that we faced in Singapore. After being more exposed to dogs, dog care and also the local dog-owner community, I came to realize the problem and that the right way is to adopt rather than buy. As such my second dog, that is adopted from an accidental litter of 8.
 
10 years have I lived and cared for my beloved dogs. Yes, to be a responsible dog owner is hard work - ensuring that they are well fed with lots of exercises so as to maintain good health. Every night I need to ensure I reach home in time to feed them, their one and only meal in a day. Each night, I diligently wash the toilet as they are house trained. Each night, I bring them out for a walk for fresh air and exercise. If I need to travel I need to find someone to replace me and my duties for each day. Isn’t it hard work? All these pain and toils, is it worth it? If I have another chance to choose, will I still choose to be a dog owner? The answer is YES! for all 3 questions.
 
Why am I still so convicted after 10 years of hard labour? Precisely because dogs are Man’s Best Friend. They are my best friend, they are my pride and joy, and I cannot live without them.  Every night I open the door to 2 smiley faces, crazy with joy of my return. Every night, I get the chance to cuddle 2 very obliging warm bodies, knowing that everything is alright with them around. Every time I feel sad for whatever reason, they are the ones that will come and console me.  Even time when I am upset with them for messing up the house, I can never stay angry for long when I stared into their pearly innocent eyes.  It looks as though my dogs are dependent on me for all their needs, but I know, deep down in my heart, I depended on them emotionally as much as they depended on me physically.
 
If dogs are so wonderful, why are there so many of them being abandoned? Ah… but we humans have souls that are dark and unpredictable… well, I believe that is just one of the reason. Most of the time owners buy dogs without thinking far ahead and understanding the full commitment.  Some buy them for birthday gifts, especially for their children, and yet others buy them purely for their cuteness. Needless to say, after a while the novelty wears off and the  once cute puppy became a naughty and destructible monster around the house. They became a burden to the whole family and are no longer wanted.
 
With  a little education, research and knowledge on how to correctly take care of the dogs and train them well, they will add immense joy into your life. They will be the only family member that remain loyal to you all their life, and certainly the only ones that would never talk back in any argument. Truly, till death do they part from you. Very soon your heart will be filled with love for this tiny ones and you will realise that having another small delicate animal in your life is a most wonderful thing!
 
Even then, why buy? Please – adopt! There are so many wonderful puppies, currently being housed in SPCA, Noah’s Ark and ASD. These dogs are no less perfect or cuter than those sold in the shops. They give you the same undivided love and attention and they promise a life time of devotion. What's most important is that it practically cost you nothing to adopt them, as compared to buying a so called pure bred from pet shops.
 
Are you convinced? Will you adopt a dog and share your life with it?  Let me give my plea a final push by sharing excerpts from this touching poem with you:
 
Will You Take Me Home – Credit - taken from a pet forum by a person named Laura.
 
I am a stray, out on the street,
Trying so hard not to get beat!
I often have to fight to stay alive,
It is a struggle, just to survive.
 
I am so alone out here, so tired and cold
This was not how, I was supposed to grow old!
No one comes to give me food,
It's not nice here, in my neighborhood.
 
I don't know what happened! Or why I am here!
What happened to my people that use to hold me so dear?
Now I am so alone and tired and cold,
Is this how I am going to grow old?
 
Could someone just stop from a busy day?
One kind word could someone say?
To a animal so scared and alone?
And perhaps find me a place in your home?
 
Ladies and gentlemen, tonight, if this poem touches you a wee bit, please say yes to adopting a dog.
 
Thank you. TME. 

This is delivered as a P9 speech in the Toastmaster's Exco Meeting. Was not in tip top condition when it was delivered, and it is the first time I did not rehearse and time my speech before the actual delivery, as a result, I missed the chance to recite the poem, thinking that I do not have enough time, when the whole speech lasted on 6 min 30 secs. This proved that rehearsing is absolutely important to ensure a good delivery!

PS: all information on the organisations are taken from the respective website. Special credit given to the especially moving poem written by Laura. 

Running Away

Birthdays to me have always been a dread. My birthday that is. And this year, I faced the same problem of having to decide how to spend this most dreadful day of the year. My fellow toastmasters, a very good evening. Today, allow me to share with you how I actually spend my birthday this year.
 
Now I have to confess I hate birthdays. Oh don't get me wrong, i love celebrating other people's birthdays, with cakes and songs and parties and presents! But I simply hate mine. It is just ladened with too much emotions and memories and unaccomplished birthday resolutions that I just feel like running away!  And so I did just that this year! I ran away to the woods, like snow white running away from the wicked queen. So where did i go? I went and climbed a mountain.
 
Gunung  Arong is situated in Mersing, Johor, about 2 hours of bus ride from the woodlands checkpoint. It is a recreational forest area with a mountain peak of 225 metres high. Yep, only 225 metres high. The hike has a rating of 1.5 out of 5, by the adventure club that organized this; it is beginner's level . I thought, I am fit, I work out very regularly, and therefore this would be a walk in the park! So I signed up. Truly, ignorance is the best motivation! I simply under-estimated the mountain.
 
At 6 am in the morning I dutifully waited at the gathering point with a lot of anticipation for an unusual day. As I knew no one there, I had great opportunity to make friends! See, I get a party on my birthday too, just that they did not realize they were invited. I sat with an Indian lady and both of us became fast friends even after the hike.
 
With me being all geared up for my hike, I was very eager to get to my first stop after entering Malaysia. But even before we reach the destination,I got just a little bit worried. The organizer for the hiking group started describing the various mountains and their challenges, and one of them was leeches! Yeeekks! I have never seen a real leech in my life, and I really do not want to have any of those blood suckers on me! So I listened very attentively... Fire is the only way to kill them if you meet one. My lighter was never very far from me during the whole trip. Thank goodness, even with the wet and humid weather that day, there were no sightings of these suckers and I did not get the chance to burn anything. Oh well, there will be next time...
 
The second hurdle I need to overcome was the river crossing. The description of this hike at the website stated a short river crossing of around the height of less than 1 metre. Alright, I tell myself. Easy enough, I just need to waterproof my back pack and wad through the river. But haha! God saw to it that I certainly will have enough excitement on my birthday. Due to the intermediate rain that hardly stopped during the week leading up to my hike, the water from the South China Sea swelled the river that led inwards, and lo and behold, the water level had rose to close to 2 metres! You can imagine the swearing that my organizer did when she reached the river banks! She is afterall standing tall at a great height of 150cms.
 
After we swam across the river, with the guys carrying the backpacks over their heads, we finally reached the bottom of the mountain. The time then was around 11 am, and by the organizer’s standard, we are truly very very far behind our intended timing. And so we started our 2 hrs ascend immediately, wet clothes and all!  Plodding through the rainforest was an unusual experience for me. The air was humid and dense with the smell of rotten leaves on the ground, and the tall trees spread out their canopy to provide us the shade, which also caused our clothes to remain stubbornly wet and sticky on our skin. As the path led on, our group of 28 hikers formed a single file and gradually those who are truly fitter will lead the way ahead. Needless to say I led to way too, counting from behind that is. However I really did not mind being the last as it gave me time to truly experience nature and be part of it, even for a while. It was then that it dawned on me, while we think we were conquering the mountain, was it actually the other way around? The mountain and nature conquered us instead. We could have left our footprints along the muddy road, but rain and other natural forces saw to it that they were erased in no time. Man had thought he is capable of everything, but he did not realized that nature does not really care what he does at all. That really put me in perspective of me, my life, and what i thought are my great achievements in life. With these self-cleansing thoughts running through my head as I plodded along following the long trial, I gained so much, not just physically, but also mentally and to a certain extend spiritually as well. That, to me, was the best birthday gift I can ever get.
 
As we climbed higher, we were able to glimpse through the thinning tree tops and saw the magnificent view beyond the mountain. That motivated each of us tremendously and our anticipation for the full view at the summit rose with each step we take. After 2 hours of throttling and plodding and hurling ourselves up the slippery slopes of Gunung Arong, we finally made it! The peak was everything that was promised to us, with panoramic views of the South China Sea and it's neighbouring islands. God knows I deserve an even better reward... Pulau Tioman! I can see Pulau Tioman, because God saw it  fit to part the clouds and allow the sun to shine through just as we were resting at the peak. Breathtakingly beautiful, the island looks as though it beckons us to go there to enjoy its deep blue sea. God knows we all need a good bath!
 
So, my dear fellow toastmasters, did I lose out by running away during my birthday? Of cause not! In fact there was so much I gained out of this experience. I will gladly run away again even on other days, for the rewards and treasures in nature were more than beyond expected. It was indeed a very memorable birthday for me, one which i had no regrets and will gladly experience it again.
 
Thank you. 

P6 Delivered on the occasion of the project clinic. Total 7 mins with a few sections being cut as this is too long. Achieved the objectives of pauses, tonal variable, body language etc. Still need to work on grammar. Also the paragraph on reaching the mountain peak gave a false conclusion, so need to work on the organization. Ah counter? Uncountable...

PS: people and references are all mine.
 

Atonement by Ian McEwan - An after-thought

This story has an "unbalanced" structure that one would not have expected if you know very little of the story or the movie. The first part happened entirely in 1 day, whereas the second part is a long journey of war time stories and descriptions. The last part jumps to where Briony was 77 years old, and all things are now past.

The style is not what I normally would take to, given that I cannot relate to the intensive "discovery" of the world that little Briony was going through in Part I. As the events unfold, I began to form impressions that Briony is very self-absorb little girl who believed that the world needs to revolve around her and her tightly controlled world of make-believe.

A single stroke of jealousy was my thought, when Briony finally got the chance to punish the Robbie for choosing her sister rather than her. It was a very subtle theme well hidden until revealed only in the second part, amidst the war time horrors that Robbie was undergoing. I ran out of patience half-way through the narration. A pity to miss the more intricate part of Robbie's growing up but, nonetheless, the style really isn't one that captivates me enough to sustain the whole section.

"The writer is God". This is essentially the essence of the last part, the point to put across by Ian McEwan. This is a reflection that great novels are written where real tragedies lack. In the world of Robbie and Cee, they may very well be reunited and lived happily ever after. However, that would quite plainly make this novel very much less that extraordinary. Fairy tales leave no long impressions as tragedies do. So yes, in the world of make belief and master pieces, the write is God.

Shared during the monthly book club discussion 29 July 2012, and published in Goodreads.

Survival 101

DG, AG, Presidents and fellow toastmasters. Tonight I would like start my speech with a quick poll - how many of you have attended a concert before? Any concert - orchestra, pop singers, rock band? (show of hands) How many of you have attended a concert, but not as an audience, but as a performer on stage? ( show of hands) My question to you is - how did you do it? Survived the "ordeal" and performed successfully? ( if no one - have you ever wonder how did the performers do it?)

Recently I had the chance to do just that- perform on stage, and I barely survived! I am part of a semi commercial choir called Vox Camerata, made up of volunteers with a passion for singing. Every year we throw a concert to the public and invite our friends and family members to a night of beautiful choral music.  3 weeks ago, on 30 June 2012, the concert hnamed A Summer Soirée was my first concert on stage.... And i survived! For a beginner who zero stage experience and who is extremely shy standing in front of an audience, it was really no mean feat for me! I was so happy I survived it that I decided to develop a survival 101 guide to it, and tonight, I would like to share with you 3 tips on "How to survive a concert looking like a pro".

Survival tip no 1 - tame those butterflies! For any first timer going on stage, the first thing you would notice immediately is the glaring spot light, that make you extremely self conscious, on top of the fact that you are already carrying a whole bag of butterflies flying around within your tummy! Well, fret not,  a good friend of mine once told me that whenever I feel nervous on stage, I can use a trick - that is to imagine that the audience are all naked! So, if they are sitting there naked, they should be the ones embarrassed, not me!  At the start of concert, I tried this trick to some success. It nearly made me laugh, which helped to ease my tension a it. Hmmm... I wonder if I could use this trick for my toastmasters speeches? But that would be another different topic.

Survival tip no 2 - keep a poker face! After you conquer those butterflies you might actually get to relax and survey the whole concert hall. This is probably the time start searching for familiar faces in the audiences. But be careful less you get distracted, because the only person  your eyes should be looking at is your conductor! Many times, my conductor, being back facing the audience, had to grab our attention by doing this ( fingers).  We really could not blame him for being so attention seeking that night. Also, please resist any thing that will make you laugh. I remember one lady of our group very nearly tipped over her file in nervousness. Even if the file actually fell onto the floor, you must maintain your poker face, pretend nothing has happened and everything is under control.

Survival tip no 3 - have a broad beautiful smile. During the second half of the concert, disaster strikes! We were doing the carpenter piece - We've only just began- At a very awkward cadence of the piece,  the whole choir lost their key and could not blend together! It was a moment of total embarrassment and panick. From the audience, you can see some who caught on to that that started squirming in their seats; and some other started to smile. For those who are perfect pitched, we were so sorry we just killed them on the spot. That section of the piece would probably sounded like the screeching of breaks that pierced into their ears. We can literally see some of them tightened their grip on the side of their seat! And so, what should you do if you go off key? Smile! Smile a broad grin like this is the most beautiful piece you have done, and pray for the ending of the piece to come quickly! So for those who are tone deaf and clueless what just happened, check out our smiles. When you saw our broad grin, you'll know that something's wrong; and after the concert you can pretend you know all about it and talk intelligently.

Ladies and gentlemen, I can assure you that if you follow my survival guide, you can go through any concert looking like a pro.  That night we sang to a full house and are even good enough to get to do our encore piece. Now if you still don't believe me, come join me at my choir Vox Camerata, and test of the tips yourself! I guarantee you, you will not be disappointed!

This speech was delivered at the Toastmasters Chapter Meeting. Evaluation - This is project 5 - your body speaks. There is not enough body movement and expression.

Own evaluation - in a bid to prevent myself from being to exaggerated, I have toned down too much, and missed achieving the desired effect. Also, the speech is too short, mainly because I forgot some key sentences and had to make up some new content on the spot.

Need better content management next time...

Who is the Susie in Your Life?

WET PANTS

A story that came through the email...

Come with me to a third grade classroom..... There is a nine-year-old kid sitting at his desk and all of a sudden, there is a puddle between his feet and the front of his pants are wet. He thinks his heart is going to stop because he cannot possibly imagine how this has happened. It's never happened before, and he knows that when the boys find out he will never hear the end of it. When the girls find out, they'll never speak to him again as long as he lives.

The boy believes his heart is going to stop; he puts his head down and prays this prayer, 'Dear God, this is an emergency! I need help now! Five minutes from now I'm dead meat.'

He looks up from his prayer and here comes the teacher with a look in her eyes that says he has been discovered.

As the teacher is walking toward him, a class mate named Susie is carrying a goldfish bowl that is filled with water. Susie trips in front of the teacher and inexplicably dumps the bowl of water in the boy's lap..

The boy pretends to be angry, but all the while is saying to himself, 'Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!'

Now all of a sudden, instead of being the object of ridicule, the boy is the object of sympathy. The teacher rushes him downstairs and gives him gym shorts to put on while his pants dry out. All the other children are on their hands and knees cleaning up around his desk. The sympathy is wonderful. But as life would have it, the ridicule that should have been his has been transferred to someone else - Susie.

She tries to help, but they tell her to get out. You've done enough, you klutz!'

Finally, at the end of the day, as they are waiting for the bus, the boy walks over to Susie and whispers, 'You did that on purpose, didn't you?' Susie whispers back, 'I wet my pants once too.'

May God help us see the opportunities that are always around us to do good... And if you happened to be this "boy" at certain parts of your life and met your "Susie", do be thankful with such rich blessings.

Bitten by a Bug

Good evening Mdm President and fellow toastmasters. Recently I have been terribly bitten by a bug and it was bad! I had to spend tons of money to treat it. However, I considered my money well spent since it was none other than the travel bug that bit me.

Tonight, allow me to share with you my latest adventure in Ho Chi Minh City, a city I visited 2 weeks ago with a girlfriend of mine. This was the second time to the same city which I visited also a year ago with my mum. So you can imagine the charm this city has on me.

HCM is the new Saigon and when we think of Saigon, we recall the cruel Vietnam war; a nation that weathered history and of course, the beautifully sad story of miss Saigon.  The famous Cu Chi tunnel is now a very well-run museum about the Vietnam War; with its intertwined underground tunnels and graphical presentation of the life of the Vietnamese during the war. I had the opportunity to crawl through a section of the narrow tunnel, something that all tourists would do when they visit the site. The crawl took barely a grand total of 20 mins but in the dark narrow passageway you can imagine the terror, the hardship and the undying endurance of the Vietnamese people. Their indigenous ways of survival and brilliant defense tactic against their enemies would move me and my mum deeply as we relived the life of a Vietnamese, even if it was for the moment.

Let me share with you a secret which I did not even share with my mum, it took me tremendous amount of courage to agree to crawl through the tunnel.  This may sound really innocent, but it was a horrible 20 mins for me. I am claustrophobic, that is I have the fear for small confined space. At some part of the tunnel I had to bend down to crawl through it, worst still, it was pitch dark! It took me every ounce of strength in my body to prevent myself from screaming my head off! So I did that crawl with my heart in my mouth and completed the longest 20 mins journey of my life! My mum even asked me why I looked a little green after the crawl. I was thankful that I wasn't looking white as a ghost after that episode!

Walking along the streets of the city, I was amazed that none of the war torn effects could be visibly seen. The city is neatly restored with beautifully landscaped roundabouts, a legacy of the French culture as a result of being a French colony of 80 years in the past. The streets are neat and clean, everywhere you can see the bustling of the economically vibrant city.  One particularly memorial street sight for me is the roads. The many narrow roads cutting through the city and even the broad new ones are filled with hordes of motorcycles, tricycles, mobile stalls and of course cars coming and going in all directions.  I think while they are already pretty modern, the government may not have discovered the many uses of a traffic light!  These are far and few in the city, and they don't command the same respect as our traffic lights do in Singapore! You can imagine how hard this is for a law abiding, rules compliant Singaporean like me? How was I ever going to cross the road?

As with all tourists, on this trip one of our key mission is to hunt down the famous local delicacy - the noodle soup. Pho as the locals call it. We refuse to compromise with those commercial versions sold in high class restaurants. We want the authentic one that locals would go for. So we went in search for a place called Pho Hoa, a well-kept secret eatery of the locals that is touted to serve the most deliciously authentic pho. I recall it was raining quite heavily during the lunchtime on the Saturday we were there. We were scrutinizing the map, trying to locate the place when it started pouring, and we had to buy ponchos so that we could continue our walk in the rain. And so, braving the rain and getting our shoes entirely soaked through, we finally found the place and were so hungry that we could eat a cow! And we got our wish - there was pho with beef brisket, pho with beef tendon, beef flank, beef tripe, mixed beef and even beef meatballs. So it was everything beef, it was also everything pho, and truly everything Vietnamese. The hot steaming tasty bowl of pho was heavenly and we were fully rewarded with our hard work and perseverance. Mission accomplished!

Now that we have satisfied our groaning stomach, how should we pamper our tired legs? What best to get a foot message? So we checked ourselves into a local foot message place besides our hotel, truly innocently thinking that we are going for just a foot message. Deliriously happy with our successful pho mission, we did not check on the price, nor did we ask how long it would take. The first alarm was the change of clothes. Why do we need to change clothes when it is only a foot message? We came to understand after all the sign languages that it was because the message will cover the upper thighs as well. So ok, in order not to offend them we changed into the clothes that they provided. Our masseurs were 2 men, but we think nothing of it. It was supposed to be a foot message only!   We were led to a rather big room with other people getting their messages, so we felt a little safer. Halfway through the message, danger came!  We were told to lie face down and they started giving us a back message, which we initially thought was well and good, value for money! But then, the started to take off our top, and we jumped! Gone was any kind of niceties. We firmly told them “no”, and thank God that “no” is still the world’s universal language. They understood and let go of our top. Afterwards we came to realize that they wanted to put hot stones on our back, which they did with our clothes on. It was so warm and soothing that this turned out to be the best part of the whole procedure that lasted nearly 2 hours. So all's well that ends well. We were safe, and we got our foot message, and a unique experience that we live to tell others another time.

Ladies and gentlemen, I hope I have given you enough reason to visit HCM. There are many more I could share with you tonight, but nothing beats you experiencing it yourself. So why not let the travel bug bite you just this once and visit this charming and amazing city that offers a lot more than you can imagine.

Project Evaluation - Too long, and could not manage within the stipulated time, as such, having to quickly end the speech with a weak closing. Keep to 3 points for comfortable content and time management.