A Mad Man

Vanity of all Vanities, all is Vanity

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Survival 101

DG, AG, Presidents and fellow toastmasters. Tonight I would like start my speech with a quick poll - how many of you have attended a concert before? Any concert - orchestra, pop singers, rock band? (show of hands) How many of you have attended a concert, but not as an audience, but as a performer on stage? ( show of hands) My question to you is - how did you do it? Survived the "ordeal" and performed successfully? ( if no one - have you ever wonder how did the performers do it?)

Recently I had the chance to do just that- perform on stage, and I barely survived! I am part of a semi commercial choir called Vox Camerata, made up of volunteers with a passion for singing. Every year we throw a concert to the public and invite our friends and family members to a night of beautiful choral music.  3 weeks ago, on 30 June 2012, the concert hnamed A Summer SoirĂ©e was my first concert on stage.... And i survived! For a beginner who zero stage experience and who is extremely shy standing in front of an audience, it was really no mean feat for me! I was so happy I survived it that I decided to develop a survival 101 guide to it, and tonight, I would like to share with you 3 tips on "How to survive a concert looking like a pro".

Survival tip no 1 - tame those butterflies! For any first timer going on stage, the first thing you would notice immediately is the glaring spot light, that make you extremely self conscious, on top of the fact that you are already carrying a whole bag of butterflies flying around within your tummy! Well, fret not,  a good friend of mine once told me that whenever I feel nervous on stage, I can use a trick - that is to imagine that the audience are all naked! So, if they are sitting there naked, they should be the ones embarrassed, not me!  At the start of concert, I tried this trick to some success. It nearly made me laugh, which helped to ease my tension a it. Hmmm... I wonder if I could use this trick for my toastmasters speeches? But that would be another different topic.

Survival tip no 2 - keep a poker face! After you conquer those butterflies you might actually get to relax and survey the whole concert hall. This is probably the time start searching for familiar faces in the audiences. But be careful less you get distracted, because the only person  your eyes should be looking at is your conductor! Many times, my conductor, being back facing the audience, had to grab our attention by doing this ( fingers).  We really could not blame him for being so attention seeking that night. Also, please resist any thing that will make you laugh. I remember one lady of our group very nearly tipped over her file in nervousness. Even if the file actually fell onto the floor, you must maintain your poker face, pretend nothing has happened and everything is under control.

Survival tip no 3 - have a broad beautiful smile. During the second half of the concert, disaster strikes! We were doing the carpenter piece - We've only just began- At a very awkward cadence of the piece,  the whole choir lost their key and could not blend together! It was a moment of total embarrassment and panick. From the audience, you can see some who caught on to that that started squirming in their seats; and some other started to smile. For those who are perfect pitched, we were so sorry we just killed them on the spot. That section of the piece would probably sounded like the screeching of breaks that pierced into their ears. We can literally see some of them tightened their grip on the side of their seat! And so, what should you do if you go off key? Smile! Smile a broad grin like this is the most beautiful piece you have done, and pray for the ending of the piece to come quickly! So for those who are tone deaf and clueless what just happened, check out our smiles. When you saw our broad grin, you'll know that something's wrong; and after the concert you can pretend you know all about it and talk intelligently.

Ladies and gentlemen, I can assure you that if you follow my survival guide, you can go through any concert looking like a pro.  That night we sang to a full house and are even good enough to get to do our encore piece. Now if you still don't believe me, come join me at my choir Vox Camerata, and test of the tips yourself! I guarantee you, you will not be disappointed!

This speech was delivered at the Toastmasters Chapter Meeting. Evaluation - This is project 5 - your body speaks. There is not enough body movement and expression.

Own evaluation - in a bid to prevent myself from being to exaggerated, I have toned down too much, and missed achieving the desired effect. Also, the speech is too short, mainly because I forgot some key sentences and had to make up some new content on the spot.

Need better content management next time...

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