To Understand and Be Understood

There is a saying that goes: “The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood.”

Good Evening President and fellow toastmasters.

Today I would like to touch on a topic that is close to the hearts of each of us – To understand and be understood. In my profession as a human resource practitioner, I had the opportunity to be exposed to various personality tools that would help me to understand a person’s character and work style very quickly. Such tools are commonly used as a quick snapshot of a person’s complex personality. DISC profiling tool is one of them. It is a tool which I use quite frequently when conducting interviews. I find it useful in helping me to size up a person’s working style quickly, so that I can determine if the candidate is suitable for the position he is applying for. Tonight, I would like to share this tool with you and also a few tips on how to read a person.

In 1928, Dr William Marston, the inventor of this DISC personality profiling tool, advocated 4 typical patterns of human interaction – Dominance, Influence, Steadiness and Compliance, hence the acronym DISC. The first pattern – Dominance, demonstrates a personality that loves a challenge and is what we call a high D person. Such a person is always ready for competition, has respect for authority and responsibility, probably because this person is also in a position of authority. In our daily interaction with people, how would we know if a person is high D, you might ask? Observe the handshake and the eye contact. High D people has very firm handshake, even to the point of being crushing; and they have very steady eye contact, probably because of the confidence and pride, coupled with a forceful and direct personality.

In contrast, the second behavioral pattern – Influence, demonstrates a more outgoing, persuasive, warm temperament as compared to the high D pattern; what we call a high I personality. If I am a high I person, my handshake would not be as overpowering as what I did just now. Instead, it would be a more friendly and warm one. High “I”s are predominantly interested in people, and can sometimes become a little too intimate on a first-name basis at the first meeting. So if you introduce yourself as “Richard”, in the next instant, he may call you Dick, and starts to put his arms around your shoulders as a friendly gesture. Such is the nature of a high I person, as it is natural for them to make friends very easily. As they are usually crowd pleasers, they can quickly become the center of attention in a party. Could anyone make a guess at what profession would a high I person excel in? Sales!

Moving on from a social butterfly to a sentimentalist, we have the third behavioral pattern, Steadiness. A high S person is undemonstrative because he is very reserved and controlled. Instead of hordes of acquaintance, such a person likes to build a close relationship with a relatively small group of intimate friends. A high S person gives people a warm feeling, a sense of security and will lend you his listening ears anytime. In fact, he can spend the whole day listening to you speak and may not talk a lot. You may have to poke him a bit if you want a response to your chatting! Among your colleagues, family members and friends, how could you identify such a personality? Look for something that he frequently uses – a pen, for example, and see if there is a label with his name neatly written on it. Chances are you will find it. High S people are sentimentalist; they take care of each and every one of their possessions and can be extremely protective of it.  So the next time you find a pen with a name written on it, please return it to the owner, for all you know, the owner may just have sleepless nights thinking of this lost pen of his.

Coming to our last, but not least, behavioral pattern – Compliance, we see that a high C person iloves details, facts and guess what? Rules! A high C person is methodical, has an eye for details and is probably your most humble, loyal and hardworking employee in the company. Stable and order, rules and procedures, theories and facts are the guiding principles of a high C person. A very good example of a high C person is.. me! I live by demonstrated facts, proven theories and precise details, and at work, I need a To-Do list to start my day, without which I will feel directionless and be at a loss. I cannot do anything else unless I have this list on hand.

Ladies and gentlemen, tonight I hope I have given you a flavor of 4 major patterns of human behavior. From a dictator; high D, to a motivational speaker; high I; to a childcare teacher; high S and finally to a CFO; high C – DISC. We see the differences in people and hopefully will start to understand the people around us a little bit better. It is also such diversities that made our world interesting.  So let’s get into the Christmas spirit today and make an effort to understand the people around us, and we will in turn be better appreciated as well.

Over to you - Toastmaster of the Evening.  

This is my speech for the P2 - Organize Your Speech, the Competent Communicator program delivered in the December meeting. As usual, I was not well prepared in terms of memorizing the speech. In addition, I was not mentally prepared to start, which resulted in a weak opening.

Areas for improvement - 

1. There is too much content for a 7 min speech, which could not sustain the interest of the audience.

2. I was pacing the stage and I don't even realize it!

3. The opening can be improved, and forget about a cliche quotation! Need something that will create an impact!

4. My closing is also weak and needs to be more compact.  

Ah Counter - 16!! (This is a result of lack of preparation)

Right... I need a break from the next speech.